Congratulations… and condolences
August 13th, 2017
Congratulations, and condolences…
Two seemingly disparate sentiments that so successfully describe my most recent experience of selling our house/home/sanctuary of many, many years (15 years for me and 31 for Lisa) and moving to our part-time cottage in VT. Lock, stock and barrel.
Offering congratulations is what most people do and it makes a lot of sense, especially in the currently still stagnant housing market. We sold our house/home/sanctuary within a few months on the market, and that’s a pretty good thing. Mazel tov!
The condolences came from a few folks who understood the intense multilevel machinations that go into a move of this magnitude on ALL of the interrelated levels – physical, mental, emotional and spiritual (the biggest impact of them all). Dealing with just one level would be intense enough. Having all four in play at the same time was exhausting beyond anything I have experienced.
Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz wrote a wonderful book “The Power of Full Engagement: Managing Your Energy, not Time, is the Key to High Performance and Personal Renewal” which describes how to best manage our energy in each of these four areas. There is a free self-assessment to see how you stack up in each area and overall. I sure as shit didn’t take it during this time. I knew it wouldn’t be good…
Condolences are traditionally offered after a close one has died. And there certainly was that feeling of loss, grief, un-mooring and disorientation that I have had when one of my close friends or family members has passed away. The major difference here is that there is no funeral. No sitting Shiva. No formal (or even informal) grieving period, no cultural rituals to help us integrate the experience. No chance to just slow down, pay respects.
The exact opposite was true, in fact. Everything sped up. So many conflicting demands – realtors, repair men, lawyers, junk haulers, movers, etc., etc. – spread over a relatively short period of time. All of it focused on these impending events: the showings, the contract, the closing, the move.
The good news is that we are living in the same cottage we’ve known and loved for five years now.
The good news is that it is also a magical, sacred space.
The good news is that I still have my office in NYC – a great co-working space, Croissant, so I can continue to work with my NY clients, and get there in a NY minute (thank you JetBlue!).
I am very grateful for all that I have and for all of you. Please let me know if you have any paradoxes that have you eating more ice cream than usual and/or keeping you up at 3 am.
Thanks, as always, for listening…